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I was 19 at the time, working as a security guard at a mall in New York. Been flirting hard with this gorgeous girl that just started working at the Hollister. One night she asked me to give her a ride home after closing because her car was having issues and her ride bailed on her.

We got to her place and she asked me if I wanted to come up and smoke a little weed which I was down for. Things progressed pretty quickly once we got upstairs and before I knew it clothes were coming off.

She’s just absolutely stunning and I’m basically drooling at this point. Everything is going super well and indications are good that this is going to be more than a one-time thing. We’re about 40 minutes in and she’s ready to go all in now.

She wants to start from behind I spread those cheeks to get that view we all love before taking the plunge and what do I see? Just to the side of her butthole is a pebble size chunk of poo….fuuuuuck.

I make a split second decision that well shit happens lol so I’m going to try and swipe that son of a bitch off of there and keep going. I make a move like I’m slowly massaging both of her butt cheeks and slide both of my thumbs one on either side slowly up the crack of her butt you know and success along the way I get that little bastard.

But this is the moment where I fucked up, I hesitated because I didn’t know where the hell I was going to wipe it after I got it off of her. In that moment of hesitation she glances over her left shoulder and sees the chunk of poo on my thumb and loses her ever loving shit.

I’m going to be 40 next year and in all the years since I have never heard a sound quite like the sound that came out of her in that moment, it was like a screaming banshee. She jumps off the bed and runs out of the room sobbing, I follow and she locks herself in the bathroom. I spend the next few minutes trying to talk to her through the door with her screaming at me to just leave and crying so I left.

I try to message her throughout the morning the next day but she won’t answer me. I decided I’d try to have a word with her when I see her at work but when I got to the store they told me she quit that morning. I never heard from her again.

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