Sorry, various and assorted Matts and Jasons from school and the cul-de-sac —my real childhood friends were my action figures.
Essentially dolls with a more dynamic name that made them marketable to boys, action figures dominated playtime in the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s.
He-Man. G.I. Joe. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Thundercats. Power Rangers. Star Wars toys. Man, those things were awesome.
Toy-making corporations also thought they were awesome because they raked in billions in revenue. That meant they aggressively went after the next big thing, seemingly turning anything with just a little bit of youth appeal and name recognition into an action figure.
I had a few of these myself, and now I can prove with this post that those bad and weird idea toys weren’t just a fever dream or implanted memory.
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